Songs In The Key Of LOL

Yes?

Here are two songs I recorded with my friend, musician Simon Borkin. He has a band. We composed the songs while travelling through Nepal with numerous middle-class people called Will. It was, like, such an experience? All of the Wills wore rugby shirts and listened to World Music (I don't know what this is...).

I wrote the songs, Simon did the music side. I'm not singing on the songs, unless you think the singer has a hot voice. Then I am singing.

Yours sincerely.

'Dad Love' - Simon Borkin and Michael Thornton

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'Alcoholic Lover' - Simon Borkin and Michael Thornton

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Radio Mong: Colin Jones Has Issues

Hello The World,

This is the second part of my ill-fated Radio Mong series, which was given away at my ill-fated comedy night in 2008. Ill-fated. The plan for Radio Mong was to create 12 radio shows, each parodying a different aspect of commercial radio, and have them fit together to make a spoof station (which is why this show has the Brian Boyle recap, and the sports show is advertised again).

'Colin Jones...'s main problem is that it's too long, and there are too many parts where nothing is happening. Plus, believe it or not, my voice doesn't work as a shockjock Adrian Littlejohn-tosser-type. Looking back, maybe I should've took on the Brian Boyle part and Rich should've been Colin Jones. OH WELL. What else? Yeah, there is a string of phonecalls from different characters which are all voiced by the same person. That was daft. Also, the reveal at the end wasn't as good an idea as I thought it was. It was like pressing the ejector seat button before the plane nosedives.

Rusty Lee hasn't sued yet. She should.

I love you xxx

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Radio Mong: The Brian Boyle Show

Hi?!

This is the oldest recording I have of my ego. It's a parody of commercial radio breakfast shows (no one in particular, promise) which I did with my good friend Rich. He plays Brian Boyle, 'The Saviour of Radio', and I play his sidekick 'Slightly Cold' Dan.

One year on, and this has aged badly in parts. There are two Madeleine McCann jokes, which were barely funny at the time, and the sports radio advert is a shameful broadstroke. I still like the loan one though, and Rich is brilliant as the egomaniacal host.

My friend Sophie can also be heard on this, and is very good. The whole show would have been a write-off if Boyle turned out to be quite likeable, and she keeps him detestable by playing the perfect girlfriend.

Yes.

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Viero Berlotti: A Story in Prog-Rock

This is a ... can I say 'piece'? That's going to make me more of a knob, isn't it? Piece. Work. "This is a work." Yes, Mike, this is a work. I'M SO SICK OF WORDS. Erm, this is a thing I did with my mate. He did all the music and editing, and I did all the words (although it was - here's another poncey word - adapted from his spoof MySpace page).

You might like it. At least, you should.

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LOLcats: Behind the ROFLz

Right then, this is a thing I wrote and then recorded with the help of a few friends back in May 2008. It's a mock documentary (I will not use that word) based on the whole LOLcatz 'phenomenon', and isn't quite as relevant now as it was eight months ago. Oh well, I'll live.

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Project LOL blog of LOL

Yes, hello and that. This is the Project LOL blog of, erm, LOL. Titles aren't my thing, so sue me. Anyway, lots of 'funny' things will be posted up on here for you to peruse. When I say 'you', I mean the people who I force to visit the site. Such is my way. Really, it's either this or performing for strangers on my webcam.

What else do people do on blogs, then? ... God blogs are fucking tedious. "Here is a picture of my cat." "Today my boyfriend asked to try this in bed." "Actually, I think episode 3 of series 4 of SCI-FI was the best ever." Go away. This is just for posting pieces of my ego.

ENJOY.